Mar 25 2009 01:42 am
i no. i havent kept myself up dated but lets see i got a new love MARIHAN MY KOREAN baby !!! he just moved out to la and i really miss him with all my heart .... i feel so lost with out him =(
Feb 24 2008 02:05 pm
Frankie is gone .. forever
RIP Chop Suey
Dec 18 2007 02:10 pm
Chapter Two
Step one
“The Awaking”
Living in total fantasy about life, made me unaware where I am aiming for.
Maybe this is the cause of me to feel lost.
So step one has began in progress
….
The Awaking form Adolescent
(No more Peter Pan Stage)
So what is my motivation?
Number One:
Is to be the best,
Something worth remembering,
Something to make my family
Proud.
To be the utmost,
Ultimate
Native American Indian women
Ever to exist in this time.
That’s one dream
Second Dream:
To run for Miss Indian World
and Win.
How to get started is the question?
That’s been on my mind for the last 5 years of my life.
I love to perform.
Sharing my culture to different people,
Educated the youth with love and compassion,
With traditional stories and songs.
But I been so isolated form the culture world.
And form music I feel like ah? How can I say this
Dry …
I want to be something!
Someone special
Someone worth knowing
but I all I know the awaking has began
so next chapter is starting.
Dec 6 2007 08:21 am
A scarred world could scar your mind, but your heart still beats forward...
Current mood: exhausted
Surprised!!!
When you found out that the one you loved wasn't the one you loved. The one you love is the one that finds you. You are a walking entity of love and the one that finds you will only see that fire of love that will glow from your presence. To find that within yourself will allow that one to find you because they found it in themselves while you were looking for it in you. They understood this and they had the tools to wait on you, to know it when they saw you. They just had to remind you. Yet though the both of you had to go through the chaotic void filling chapters of life and moment. So it may hurt now but keep your head up. Your spirit will center itself because it knows how to heal but it doesn't understand the concept of going backwards, it doesn't understand the concept of trying to fix something because the heart works until its work has been done.
The heart is a constant beat, a constant flow and what brings it joy and what allows it to skip (like an honor beat in an indian song at the drum) is the warm water like flow of the spirit being moved through the heart which in turns causes someone to say "my breath was taking away" or "my heart skipped a beat"... The heart knows how it heal itself. Its only when we fill it with our own confusin, frustration and hurt, that it makes the heart sick. The heart doesn't understand this. Thats why they say, "always follow your heart". The heart can only go so far in the wrong direction until it starts to speak to the universe or to the creator in the heavens and thus brings forth the answers to the situations in your life and will allow you to see what is the truth. In that time is when our heart feels broken, but its our minds that are broken.
Our heart continues to beat but knows how to take the blows of: love and the beautiful pains of love. It allows us to know that we are mortal, that we are alive, that we are small parts of the great puzzle pieces of this life. Our heart doesn't flow backwards, our heart doesn't pump blood backwards. Our heart is a constant flow of movement forward. Always pumping, always in time with the flow of life, earth, the stars and the spirit of creation. We are apart of it and we live in a scarred world trying to find the beauty in a companion, when the beauty is actually sometimes in the part our spirit and heart plays in the collective orchestra of this world.
We all play a part and when we are to find our note, our chord, our life partner or given the opportunity to walk in solitude, it is then that we will find our peace. Peace is the reward because its peace that will allow us to know "I'm content", "I'm ready to move forward and learn, live, love and pass what I've been given on to the ones yet to come". We are those honor beats, we strive to move forward, we pray to have the strength to understand the harsh ways of people and we feel relief to know that there are still beautiful people out there. Finding that center on your own it what its all about.
When you can do it by yourself you then can be prepared, you can be filled with that ball of unconditional love, you can be a walking entity of light, a walking movement that causes the change in this world where chaos rests. We bring peace with our gifts, words, writing, art, dance and songs. Opperate in your gift and enjoy these times because, this may be the last time. The days are beautiful and there are things to look forward to, there is hope and thats no joke. Life is good and sometimes the answer is just right around the corner. Sometimes its those moments that it will catch us by surprise. The unexpected wind gust that took us by surprise. Surprise.
By Quese Peace Imc
i this it gives me hope
Oct 31 2007 02:49 pm
I realized something I cant Cook!! i feeel bad to all the gUys i said i know how to cook
^___^
o well
I am Still CuTe ^_~
Oct 9 2007 09:57 am
its oct 1st haven’t talk to frankie still ... i wonder if he is with Amber ??? maybe or is he in jail ..??? why do i have to think the wrost? why cant i think .... the best .. like maybe he just move on with his life and found himself a real girl and not just a Fake online girl who has obsessive-compulsive disorder I am mental case and maybe he has a good paying JOB!! And he doesn’t have time and so on ... *sigh,smile* if that true do i just let things go ... do I pretend that i never met him .... that i never love him is the end of this story? This is really hard? i don't know ... i am at the point where i believe i am really not meant to love anyone .... most the guys i meet ARE! exhibiting insanity you know ,suicidal, Gangbangers, drugies, what ever u name it ...i don’t know where I fine these wack job losers at? All I know is i dont want to live that kind of life with that kind of person I guess. besides there too depressing its about them and their lil issues “me,me,me(wa.wa.wa)” ...They act like their pain is the worst pain in the world like come on get over it ... There’s Kids in Africa .. which is a real gangbangers with out a choice its either do are die in that country (poor kids) they actually kill their own parents ... idk the world is crazy i just want peace and love ... why is that hard to find real love in this world ... the internet is too depressing now days LOL hahaha? i mean i have my emo moments but i try to move on ... i hate when people think my life is easy and it may be to some like 3rd world people but talking about people I know or somewhat kind of know they act I never had my hard times of pain ....everyone has pain but i just idk? its hard to explain i am hard to explain ... i just want to be happy .... why does everyone want to be murderous homicidal Maniac its so MainStream ... i wish i can send them somewhere else some isolate place so they can just kill each other off ... and thats the end of that ... is that mean though? i mean people talk about killing just a person ... if i have to kill i .. would genocide the blind nation of idiots i guess … i don’t know I think i am too loving to be a killer ( key world is I think) lol ... i just want the world to be a Better place I want “WORLD PEACE” as lame as it sounds it’s the true ... i use want kids but know I don’t really have the … urge… to pop out an disturbing image of mini-me offsprings I guess I am greedy with my DNA … LOL I mean the world destroys everything .... i hate the world ... its so dark and ugly ... maybe thats why mother earth is ..changing .... shes trying to make everything new again ... even if that means .. Killing innocent life’s ... i dont know ... i am meeting stanger people at the drop of a dim ... people i wish i never met ... people i am waiting for them to leave and forget me ... blah?!? their so depressing ... I hate red and blue and idk? People like that ruins colors i guess thats why i wear black .... and pretent i am shy ... i might get shot ... or something ... for being outspoked ... ??? maybe that’s why I am so cocky online too haha LOL no can find me LOL they can CYBER KILL ME BUT I WILL BE ON LINE TOMARROW LOL ... i dont know i want to meet someone different someone new ... someone who will protect me 4rm the world ... my lil hero or superman .... someone who is moving in life and being someone who will help me grown ... not ... criticize me ... and be little me ... i want some who will accept me and understand me most of all love idk? its hard looking for a mate .. i guess everone is so Picky ... and MEAN haha LOL are strange i don’t know??? i wished frankie called i am inlove with him i know i am ... I cant help but sigh and say i wish frankie was here ... i don’t know maybe its just the thought of frankie I’m in love with? Is he the person for me ? so far its I who’s been doing all the dirty work … trying to have this RELATIONSHIP HAPPEN but so far no calls and its been a TWO months …TWO … do I still wait … do I SHUT my EYES really tight and when I open them he will be here in my arms … I LOVE HIM … when I think of him and close my eyes I fee like I am falling or floating is it foolish to love someone who doesn’t love you … its not his fault for not loving me … its no ones, the more days goes by with out hearing form him is more I feel lonely and dead … isolating myself 4rm the human race … I fuckin love you damn it … why cant u see and understand why cant u embrace me … shower me with love and happiness … jerk!
but i love my jerk hahaha LOL
Sep 25 2007 12:51 pm
talk to DEMI .. a NEW FRIEND hahah?? hes nice ...haha! pretty much my new Bot! ....not really but i guess i have a ....*crush* on the poor guy .... i am such an EVIL Person ... i should be KICK in the Head for even trying ... to like someone ... i guess whats what i get for being a LOSER ... well i got a NEW LABTOP its aw some but FUCKIN confusing ... fuckin Baster o yeah i like to say FUCK a lot my NEW WORD lol ... well Nothing much to say.....but "FUCK!"
Sep 24 2007 12:56 pm
???? i havent .. talk to frankie in awhile .. Mmm.... yup ..its almost Oct. well i dont know i called him he wasnt home .. is this the end of us??? who knows right?
Jul 20 2007 11:13 am
....well got in a fight with frankie ... didnt go that bad but i went crazy and deleted myspace ... lol well i love him ... i really want him i love him
May 14 2007 11:36 am
well saw Frankie fuck him in the back seat in his car*lost my Makeup? MMmmm? IDK having 2nd thoughts about him i dont know i feel i really want him anymore???
but i dont know .....
Rainbow never called dont have my own place still ... live with my Parents with No DL? i am loser huh?
well i am out o yeah Bee'vit has a girlfriend JERK !@!!
Jan 10 2007 02:53 pm
its amazing ....its a new year
and i stilll love frankie
and i might be goin to NM tommarow hopeful to see him ...
I maybe no but i want to...i will see wish me luck
Sep 15 2006 10:49 am
my friend joey comment suicide...not that long ago....i been bum blaming myself Stan just called me...MMmmm....but i am okay RAINBOW AND I .... IDK she did call
Jul 28 2006 08:43 am
dear me ..am so utterly bored here ...at work...just wondering about frankie ....MUM? I am MOVING OUT GETTIN my own lil Apartment ...i gonna have a ROOM MATE RAINBOW...yah? idk when ...but ya' wish me luck!
Oct 1 2007 11:48 am
Dear me ...I'm just writing...in this thingy...I am bored...lol and am just thinking ..there nothing much to say that i am just bored out of my mind thinking of a lot of things...Mostly Josh ...Ew...why...ha? he is cute and odd_lOoking..well I dont know steve..._is here..ha,ha? well ha? bye
LoV3...Sumuka....
